Rebel With A Cause

First Triathlon

I'm a rebel. Behind this smile lurks a devil of a girl who stamps her feet and throws tantrums against convention- a lot! That may surprise most people, but probably not my family (especially on game night).

If you tell me what to do or demand I do something, chances are, I won't do it, and if you suggest I'm unable or not allowed to do something, that acts as a catalyst for me to do that very thing. 

In her book, The Four Tendencies, Gretchen Ruben defines a rebel as resisting all outer and inner expectations. Rebels do what they want, in their way and in their own time, and if someone asks or tells them to do something, they resist.

A rebel then would be highly unproductive, right? Not necessarily! Rebels often own and operate successful businesses and meet goals like training for and completing a triathlon. 

Presented with a choice and a challenge, I will act. Sprinkle in doubt from others and perhaps a little self-doubt too, and you've started the engine. 

There are countless examples and experiences throughout my life where doubt from others motivated me...

In high school, my coach did not select me as a co-captain of the cross-country team, which only bothered me once he pointed it out and explained why. But later, I wondered, do I not have leadership qualities? That seed of self-doubt certainly contributed to my success in operating two businesses and as a coach of runners worldwide. 

Teachers told my parents at conferences, "She is flighty, an air-head" #dumb! - This fueled my dedication to studying and achieving a pre-med degree in human biology and a master's of science in physical therapy. 

Recently, I was learning a new card game and lost hand after hand after hand. And with each loss, my ugly temper grew so much so that my husband said, "Maybe we should stop playing." I was ready to call it quits, but after that statement, I responded, "Not until I win." I'm sure hubby wanted to keep playing and knew this would keep me in the game. 

The pitfall of being a rebel is the tendency to rebel against the self - the inner expectations. So, even when choosing a self-imposed goal, like, "Let's not eat gluten," I may follow through for a long time, like eight years, only to stop with total agency inflammation be damned. Like Forest Gump, when one day he ceases running and says, "I'm pretty tired. I think I will go home now." 

Now, I face a new challenge that will require positively directed rebellion. I was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. It affects everything I do, from endurance training to working and simply functioning daily- but I will not let it take over. I will not cave to it. I will revolt. 

Go on, tell me I can't...